One of the best ways, in all of mankind’s impressive history, to counter someone spewing gibberish in the name of making a point is to put your fingers inside your ears and yodel like a Scottish drunk, thereby proving that you are the intellectually superior being and that you have cemented a legendary status in the hall of fame of best replies ever and that the other person can go choke his head in a bamboo sack full of tomatoes. This beautiful occurence is often known as “willful ignorance” or simplistically “being childishly gay” .Any way you slice it (slicing it like dominatrix tomatoes in a bamboo sack preferably), it involves a person pretending reality is not or never did happen, and that Mia Khalifa is a virgin, far end sex abstinence preacher. We have all been guilty of using this “tactic” and generally it is way more common than most of us like to admit. As a matter of fact, a lot of us do it a lot often without even realising it. The biggest topics upon which we feign ignorance are our talents and abillities, politics (looking at you Imran Khan and Nawaz Sharif supporters) and relationships. We’ll be talking about the most controversial of the three here.
“No it’s not Imran Khan and Nawaz Sharif bitch slapping each other yet”.
All of us have most certainly had at least a single friend at some stage in our lives who was deep up in to their balls or lady-balls in an absolutely horrendous contract they dared call a “relationship”. No matter how much you pressed them, they refused to sever it on the baffling logic that they loved this person or that angels descended from the sky and proclaimed to them that they were meant for each other. (If that’s the case I’d suggest getting your friend tested for LSD). All of this completely irrespective of the amount of personal and social hell the other person put them through. These are also the type of people who may come home from their hectic jobs to discover a used, torn condom on their bed, a bracelet or a watch that they never owned in their entire lives and a note written in red lipstick detailing how perfect and monstrous their partner’s tick tock is. Even then they would need their partner to take a lie detector test (because obviously they’re insane and lie detectors are actually a thing) to confirm their slight, creeping suspicion that their partner might be being unfaithful to them. However, these people never make their proclamation of love with any sort of passion or solidarity and more often than not, end up sounding like a child whining about his outdated iPhone. “But, but, but I looooooooooooooooooooooooove Ronny!” they’ll say. And you’ll reply by saying, “But screw Ronny right in his fake wooden leg because Ronny has been parachuting the stinky, old chute of that one armed woman that stinks like bloody nuggets!” Everyone still in touch with reality knows about it except the partner involved who will feign complete ignorance until the day they finally find their partner rooting the tooting of the one armed lady in the same bed.
“Rootin’ Tootin’…. Putin?”
In reality it’s not the our partner’s infidelity that makes us so blindly oblivious to a dreadful relationship; it’s our own insecurity. We can all believe that someone who isn’t us could be cheating and that is in no way an issue. But how on earth could someone be possibly unfaithful to me? This can only happen to “others”, not to me. It’s actually a slight corruption the concept of choosing to be blind to your own twisted beliefs. No one on the face of this earth likes to be proven wrong because you think it reflects negatively on you. Hence, failing to grasp how you could possibly be so wrong for so long. You don’t want to hear a single word.
“Yodelay Yodelay Ee Oooo”
Obviously, in this case you’re not at fault in any way, and your well wishers will keep on reminding you that. But even the most serene amongst us still feel a bit crippled or powerless inside, when someone they choose to care about backstabs them. It weakens us, hurts us and makes us feel like we messed up somewhere, somewhow. So we don’t allow it to materialize as a real problem . That used condom must have been stuck to a bird’s claw. That lipstick message is just the maid playing tricks on us. The watch or bracelet was probably a gift meant for a later occasion. And the nuggets smell is just plain, old, sweaty, stinking nuggets (which happens to be missing an arm). Our brain impulsively finds excuses and validates them in order to pretend there’s nothing wrong and life is perfect as it is. The brain knows it is lying, playing tricks in order to hide the deep, dark truth. We never fight back because misery is comfortable whereas happiness is hard and requires constant effort and struggle.
“Not totally unsexy though….”
Truthfully speaking, the only way this paradox or deadlock is broken when the person ignoring all the cues finally gets tired of lying to themselves and decides to confront the situation head on, no matter how uncertain the outcome. The truth can be narrated to them a 1000 times over, and it won’t amount to anything until they’re ready to hear and accept it. This is a truly horrible realization in itself at how the human mind can work tricks on itself, but the truth is that its also the only way many of us will ever allow truth to settle in.