“I’m coming mum!” I shouted for a thousandth time. I hurriedly ran downstairs with my sweater hanging from my arm and the hairbrush in my hand. My mom sighed with relief as her eyes fell upon me.
“I told you an hour ago to get ready Zainab! Go get in the car. Grandma’s waiting for you two.” She pointed towards the car outside where my brother was waiting. The fact that he was already there was a miracle. He’s one of those lazy people who are always a couple of hours late and I’m not exaggerating.
As I sat in the car my stupid brother blurted out ,“Well well well… if it isn’t the sleepy princess. How do you do?”
“Just move you idiot”, I answered respectfully.
It took almost an hour to reach at Grandma’s. She was waiting outside ready to welcome her crazy grandchildren. “Hello little peeps! How are you both? Come here and give grandma a hug.” She sounded super stoked. I usually don’t like the tight hugs that elderly women give, the ones that seize our ability to breathe normally for a good minute, but with grandma it’s different. She’s really gentle and smells of roses and powder much like you would imagine other old people to smell.
“Now come on in you two! Lunch awaits!” my granny said as she turned around and started walking towards the dining room. Oh, did I mention my granny cooks the best food you can taste? That’s one of the reasons why I like to visit her.
We sat down at the table where the plates were already laid. Powerful aromas filled the room that made my mouth water. I picked up a spoon and was about to put some absolutely delicious food on my plate when I heard a loud bang. It startled me and as a result
my spoon went flying in the air and perfectly landed on my brothers face. This situation would’ve made me burst with laughter if not for the fast and loud footsteps approaching our room.
I heard deep voices of men, undoubtedly thieves, and a second later, two men in their forties entered the dining room. All the colour drained from my face. The fear made me numb and my brain stopped working.
“Give me all the money and gold you’ve got. Fast!” The bigger one pointed a gun at my granny. I was on the verge of fainting. My brother was in a similar state. My grandma, on the other hand, had a bold look on. Her eyes were twinkling. I knew she was up to something. Her bravery forced me to gather some of my scattered courage and I was sure I could hang in there for a few extra minutes.
“Didn’t you hear me old woman?” the younger one shouted. They were getting impatient and frustrated as time ticked by.
My grandma smirked as she said, “Who did you just call old?” I almost had a heart attack. What in the world was my grandma doing? Did she have a death wish? The one with the gun gave his partner a confused glance.
“I, Noor Ahmed The Great, challenge ye both to a duel. Do you have the guts to accept my challenge?” the two men looked at each other and started laughing so hard that their eyes started watering.
“Is that a yes?” my grandma asked innocently. Ok! Now I’m sure she has a death wish.
“Yeah, right!” they blurted out amidst their chuckles.
That’s when it happened. My seventy year old weak grandma, who could barely walk straight without a stick, spun her stick in her right hand and, with the left one, signaled the men to commence.
What? What just happened?
My granny did an awesome somersault and lunged towards the two thieves. Taken by surprise they both fell to the ground as the stick was swung at their legs. The man with the larger physique had been holding a gun which was now sliding across the floor to the far corner.
“You two kiddies scared of poor granny?” my grandma said with innocent puppy eyes. One of the men stood up and started running towards granny. She easily dodged him. The other man was also up and ready to attack.
TRINNN! The oven made a sound.
“Ooooo my cookies are ready! Do you want some?” she asked the men. “Yes please!”, they shouted excitedly. “LUNCH BREAK! We shall continue our battle but first we shall dine.” My grandma went to the kitchen and came back with a tray of her secret recipe cookies. All three of them ate the cookies and talked about their pet cats and their favourite Taylor Swift songs.
“Yum! These are delicious! You’ve got to teach me how to bake these.” The older man said.
“Why thank you. Come by on Saturday and I’ll give you a class”
They continued munching on till all that was left in the tray was crumbs.
“Let the battle commence!”, granny exclaimed.
The younger man lurched towards granny. She tried to hit him with her stick when she was suddenly jerked backwards by the other man. This caused her to lose her stick. I thought she was doomed now but man was I wrong! She picked up her purse from the table near her and started hitting those troublemakers without a break. They shrieked like little girls. What a sight it was!
“Old granny beats the bad little boys” grandma laughed ad she continued her attacks. The granny purse special move must have been really painful because a minute later they both ran out with hands on their heads to block any attacks there. Grandma laughed as she chased them out.
This was really weird. Me and Umar ran outside to see what was going on there. Grandma was standing by her car looking at those thieves run away with a look of accomplishment on her face. She looked at us and then to the sky.
“It was lovely meeting you both. Farewell my lovelies, Farewell.” she said as she got into her car.
I was really confused. Where was she going and why was she acting so weird today. She started the car and slowly drove a few meters when her car’s front wheels started lifting up and the car flew right into the sun. Mission impossible theme song playing in the background.
We were speechless, staring onto the sky.
“What are you two doing out there? Come on in.” a voice that sounded like our grandma’s came from behind us. As I turned I saw my granny standing in the doorway.
Written by: Zainab Ikram