During adolescence, the body and mind go through so many complex changes which are pretty difficult to describe. One feels mature and childish at the same time. This period, referred to as the “teenage” can be really rough. This also happens to be the time during which one makes new bonds, the bonds of friendship and love. But do we really understand what the bond of friendship means? What this relation stands for? Is it all just fun and games?
Being a very active user of social media, I often come across these “memes” about friends and stuff. Some of these are truly ridiculous, and even humiliating at times. Like this one instant when I came across a meme labeling “best friends” as the people frequently abusing or insulting you. And interestingly plenty of people could be seen agreeing to this ‘fact’. I couldn’t help but feel for those people who, in my opinion, lacked perception of this pure relation.
Every time I come across such a post, my mind flashes back to that one lecture I attended. It was taken by our Urdu Professor who was giving us an overview of the chapter we were about to read. The chapter was about the friendship of a pigeon with some other animals. While the lesson was just another folk story, that overview was something a lot more than that. I could feel the depth in the Professor’s voice and words while he described what true friendship was about. Being a person of literature, his action could be justified, but I learnt something that day. I couldn’t relate to the standards of “friends” that my Professor had just established in front of us, but it was surely something that enhanced the value of those near and dear to me. To quote one of his lines,
“A true friend is the one who, when you ask him to follow you, doesn’t ask ‘where to?’ but gets up and goes with you”.
Seems a bit too much, doesn’t it? But not if you look deeply into its meaning. It’s about trust and faith, the essence of any relation. I couldn’t relate to it. I had friends, good ones too, but this seemed a little too much faith. So I questioned myself, “Would I?” and the answer was ‘no”. Then I questioned “Would he?” and the answer was still “no”. It was obvious. The level of trust I just cited is too high, perhaps a bit too high to have been achieved at that time (I was 17).
Our religion, the divine guidance, doesn’t let us stray in this matter as well. Choosing a right fellow has been stressed upon many a time. To mention the Hadith
“A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one must consider who he makes his friend.”
A person without a real friend has been considered unfortunate and poor.
And making a friend is just the first part of it. Maintaining this relation is a next level thing. This really famous quote states:
“Brothers are like gold and friends are like diamonds. Why? Because gold can be remodeled once it deforms, but diamond cannot be regained after it shatters.”
So folks! be careful whom you call your friend. It’s much more than just outings, games, chats, jokes and laughs. It’s about having a soulmate (other than your life partner of course). You are really lucky if you have a friend who understands you above these “emo-created standards”. Allah knows better how long will you be able to cherish His gift. So value it before it is lost. Lost for good perhaps…
Written by: Mustafa Hashmi