“Leave me. Just let go of me. Please! What have I done to you? Why am I being tortured so often by you? Just get the hell out of here!” were the sentences that I uttered repeatedly.
My situation was turning into a complete fiasco. I probably wasn’t right in the head. The path I was on became foreign to me. I was broke, utterly devastated.
“Haha… You hopeless, lifeless, futile lass. You are good for nothing,” said a voice.
I squinted around, trying to figure out the source but after couple of minutes, toil hit upon a realization that I was in a conversation with myself. It was a voice from within.
I couldn’t refrain myself from throwing up and exclaimed,” Easy for you to say. Have you ever witnessed misery from this close a distance that I have? Have you ever lost anything precious in life? Have you ever labored like a donkey in order to make out a living? Have you ever yearned for murdering your own existence?”
I went on, “I am sure you haven’t but you know what? I have. So before you point that finger of yours out at me, wear my shoes.”
She giggled even harder and curtly said,” Don’t give me those excuses, you are insane. Life is a beautiful gift and you transformed it into agony and now all you can do is complain.”
“No. Not at all,” I continued,” Life was never a gift for me but a test. A never ending anxiety and persisting anguish. Life had always been unfair to me.”
Tears welled up in my eyes and the lost hope brought me down to my knees and I yelled at her,” You can hardly fathom how disappointed I am with myself. I feel as if I am me no more.”
I screamed aloud,” I am me no more.”
The voice returned,” Just get up and see yourself in a mirror.”
I rose immediately and was confronted by my reflection.
“This is who you are. A failure. A failure. A failure.”
Her words reverberated in my head for sometime and I lost control and gaped at her,” I am not a loser! I am a fighter!”
She smirked at me and said,” Excuse me? Did you just call yourself a fighter? You and fighter? Haha! You must be kidding! I never came across a fighter of your kind who lost a battle without even participating in it.”
” Stop it! Go away this instant!”
” You are a coward!” she shouted,” a coward!”
I threw a metallic box at her that smashed the mirror into pieces but the voice still remained.” You can’t get rid of me. Not with this personality of yours. The moment you decide to rule yourself will be the moment of your triumph. As for now, you lost it. Go and accept your defeat.”
“No. No! Please just stop harassing me. Just stop it! Leave me. Just go and never return!”

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *